i wish i could listen to music while i write these..  whatever these are.  if there's even more than one of them.  i am her best kisser.  STILL!!  "well, there was this guy i dated TWO YEARS AGO that.."  quote from her when asked who kissed best out of all the people she's kissed.  bam!  me!  straight from her mouth (those sweet, sweet lips of herS).  hm..  i must be starting to let it slip.  man, ...i really hope this has some substance to it, because it sure as hell feels like just another dream come along.  my whole god damned life has been little dreams that float by in front of me just watchingn my face for disappointment when i grab and find there's nothing there.  how cruel.  but, this feels too good, to true to let pass.  i have to see her this weekend.  i have to.  we have to talk..  or not.  i just have to see her.  i need to squelch this thirst for her, whatever it may be.  then maybe it won't be so bad...  after watching myself spell that out, it really doesn't sound likely.  more than likely this weekend will once again show me how little she does care or how little she's interested at least.  and even if it doesn't, then my thirst for her is sure to grow 10 fold.

i can't believe i am her best kiss.  man, we had some good ones.  i love that she remembers.  whether or not there's still anything there, there WAS.  we had something beautiful and undeniable and the kisses were the byproduct.  i was so in love, so incredibly happy to be where i was when i kissed her, that i was in pure bliss and that is what makes a kiss.  a kiss that makes you swell inside with pure joy will be an incredible kiss every single time.  and that's how it was, every..  single..  time i kissed her lips.  pure bliss.  just happy to be right where i was, when i was.

i doubt she knows this.  i want her to.  very much.